i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
