He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
