I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
