I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
