All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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