Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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