All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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