too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
two words: eviction party
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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