I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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