just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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