Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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