Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
