glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
