What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize