ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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