Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
