he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
