the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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