I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
