What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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