dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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