you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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