I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
