Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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