I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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