We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
