in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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