Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dicks are not precious.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
