just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
