Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she smelled like a LAN party
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
