Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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