Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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