yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
