I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
