too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
