he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize