Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
