Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize