OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Too much gin, very little bucket
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
