We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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