Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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