But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
