After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
