You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
