are you still at the devil's house?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
