First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
