angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
