why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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