We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
