I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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