I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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