I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
