you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
