17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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