I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
