How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
