I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize