the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
